My Grandma Is a Racist

Daily Piglet asks:

How do you handle a relative who always says inappropriate things and, on occasion, commits acts of inappropriate groping at family gatherings?

I can tell you how I handled a similar situation (minus the groping). My grandma is a racist and becomes more outspoken about it the older she gets. On one particular visit, during one particular car ride, she said two truly heinous things in the span of one block. At that point, I decided that ignoring her wasn't going to cut it anymore. This is what I said to her:

Grandma, you can't say things like that once we have kids. [Here, she tried to interrupt and say she could, but I didn't let her.] We will not allow that sort of language in our house or around our kids. If you continue to say things like that, you will not be allowed in our home and you will not see our kids. I'm not kidding.

Then I changed the subject and we moved on. There was a noticeable decrease in the number of racist comments during the remainder of her visit. Anytime she started to say something, I shot her a look and said, "Grandma..." in a warning tone. She was like a toddler pushing limits, seeing what she could get away with.

I would do the same for your inappropriate relative. Speak to your lecherous uncle (I assume) in private and tell him, in a calm, even tone, that his behavior and language are inappropriate. Be specific about what he is not allowed to do and what the consequences will be. For instance, "Uncle Chester, you are not allowed to call my daughter Boobalicious or anything like it. If you do call her by any name other than her actual first name, you will no longer be welcome at family functions. You also may not pinch my butt. If you lay a hand on me again, my husband will break your jaw. I am serious about this. We are all family and would like to enjoy our time together, but if you cannot behave in an appropriate manner, you will not be included in future gatherings. Now, let's go get some sweet tea and chitlins."

Comments

my god you ARE a genius!

my uncle won't have any idea what hit him.